Why You Can't Stop Spending

Kaori Jinsenji

You promised yourself you’d stop spending, but somehow, it just—happens, right? You end up with a bag full of “just looking” and your bank app’s screaming at you. But here’s the wild thing: your brain literally wants you to overspend, and the world kinda... encourages it. I mean, who hasn’t found themselves scrolling through endless shopping apps at midnight, convincing themselves it’s just for “research”?

Eric Marquette

Ha! “Research.” That’s what I always tell myself when I’m browsing electronics after a long workday. Seriously though, let’s talk about those moments—like, uh, you know when you’re just...tired or a bit lonely? Suddenly shopping isn’t about the stuff. It’s chasing that little burst of, what is it—dopamine? You feel bored, you fill your cart, you check out, you—wait, was I going anywhere with this?

Kaori Jinsenji

No, but I get it exactly! For me, back in university exam season, I’d pretend I was “window shopping” online at 2AM because I couldn’t sleep. I was buying comfort, not things. I’d get all these fancy tea sets or inspirational notebooks and, like, never actually use them. Felt good for about thirty seconds.

Eric Marquette

It’s so relatable. I think a lot of us buy for our fantasy selves, right? That future Eric who’s definitely going to do morning yoga and wear those pristine trainers. And yet, present-day Eric is...well, recording in slippers. The future-self delusion. We convince ourselves, “I’ll use this equipment,” or, “This book will change me,” and sometimes it just, like, adds to the pile of unused stuff.

Kaori Jinsenji

Or the “compare and despair” trap. Instagram makes it look like everyone’s got the latest gadgets, travelling to Bali, living the dream. So you start thinking, “Maybe I need that too.” But it just keeps us stuck, always chasing, never really satisfied. Like keeping up with the Tanakas—and I suppose, in America, it’s the Joneses, right?

Eric Marquette

Definitely, it’s always the Joneses here—or someone with better lawn furniture. But it’s never about the stuff, is it? It’s this ongoing pressure to fit in, and next thing you know, you’re spending to try and catch up, but the finish line keeps moving. It’s enough to make you want to unsubscribe from everything and throw your phone out the window—but then, I’d probably just buy a new phone.

Kaori Jinsenji

And it’s not even all your fault! The stores—oh my goodness, they are clever. You notice how websites push “free shipping over $50”? Like, suddenly you’re adding something else you didn’t need just to “save” five bucks. And why are those SALE signs always crimson red and yelling at you?

Eric Marquette

They really are shouting, aren’t they? That colour triggers urgency—makes us feel like we’re about to miss out. And I, I totally fell for it. There was this “limited time offer” on these headphones I had my eye on, so I jumped on it. Later found out…it’s basically on sale every other week. No scarcity, just artificial pressure. Lesson learned—maybe. Probably not.

Kaori Jinsenji

Oh, and Apple Pay—don’t get me started! They make it so you don’t even feel like you’re spending money. Tap, pay, done. It’s frictionless. No time to think, “Wait, do I really need this second phone case shaped like a mochi?” The checkout is nearly too easy!

Eric Marquette

And the stores themselves—they’re kind of like...puzzles designed for your wallet. Essentials at the back, slow music, nice lighting. You go in for toothpaste, but the music’s got you browsing candles and looking at mugs you never knew you wanted.

Kaori Jinsenji

It’s psychological chess! And have you remembered that trick where the most expensive things are always at eye level? It’s not an accident. It’s strategic—literally every detail is about influencing what you walk out with, not what you actually needed.

Eric Marquette

So how do you fight back? Here’s where the Japanese wisdom comes in. Remember when we talked about kakeibo a couple episodes ago? That old-school money journal—track every purchase for 30 days, and patterns just jump out at you. Not to judge, but to see what’s really going on with your spending.

Kaori Jinsenji

I love that you bring that up, because it’s so gentle, you know? No guilt. Just awareness—“Huh, I didn’t realize I bought three different pens for no reason.” And the other piece, that word ‘mottainai’—it’s almost like “what a waste!” It’s a little nudge: before you hit buy, ask if you’re really honoring what you already have, or just—accumulating. It’s a kindness to your stuff, and your future self.

Eric Marquette

There’s one more, too—the “does this spark joy?” test. I know, it’s usually for clearing clutter, but you can flip it forward. Instead of, “Should I toss this old shirt?” it’s “Will this new thing actually bring joy, or just clutter and a bigger credit card statement?”

Kaori Jinsenji

It’s powerful. Because if you treat every dollar with intention—even just sometimes—you break that cycle. You start building a relationship with your money that isn’t just about rules or denial, but about purpose and gratitude. I mean, that’s kind of been the heartbeat of this whole series, right?

Eric Marquette

Absolutely. And hey, if you’re listening and feeling overwhelmed—don’t. Just start with noticing. Take that one mindful step. Track a few days of your spending, or pause before you buy, and you’re already unlocking something new. One mindful dollar at a time. Kaori, thanks, as always, for your wisdom! Shall we call it for today?

Kaori Jinsenji

Let’s! Thank you, Eric. And to everyone listening, tell us—what’s one spending habit you’re ready to see differently this week? We’re in this together, and we’ll be back next time with more Japanese-inspired money wisdom. Mata ne—see you again soon, Eric!

Eric Marquette

Take care, Kaori, and goodbye everyone! Spend mindfully!